1. |
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well, those lips they got a hold of me
your body brings out my sincerity
baby don't you know you and me we could probably fake it
because I only say I love you when I'm naked
I put out on the very first date
they're often impressed with how much I mate
well, girl there's a lot of people thinking me and you could make it
because I only say I love you when I'm naked
pack my bags and I'm on my way
fully dressed there ain't that much to say
well baby if I had some pills well I think that maybe I could take it
because I only say I love you when I'm naked
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2. |
Ivy
01:56
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Her name it was Ivy
and she was dark as night could be
She wandered through the miles of ice and snow
and came right back to me
I wanted nothing to do with her
that apple fell far from the tree
but I've done gone and changed my mind
now Ivy's growin' on me
And her black black heart made big bad sounds
as she traveled through the valleys and the cold sweet towns
where her fate might have laid, well, I don't want to know
no one escapes from the dryness of bone
Born on Friday the 13th
or was it Valentine's Day?
I can't remember which is which
since Ivy crept this way
So sickly and pathetic
no level ground for she
I picked her up and raised a glass
now Ivy's growin' on me
And her black black heart made big bad sounds
as she traveled through the valleys and the cold sweet towns
where her fate might have laid, well, I don't want to know
no one escapes from the dryness of bone
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3. |
Pay Day
01:41
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i need a pay day, mayday
with funds I cant fail
there ain't nothing I can fix with my pocket full of tricks
hell, everything I own is for sale
i need a payday, mayday
that'll set my sails
i take it as threat when I'm out of cigarettes
and i'm eating like I was in jail
I need a new everything
my whole life's out of kilter
i just wiped my ass
with a coffee filter
I need a pay day, mayday
this time it's for real
i need a spiritual event just so I can pay the rent
killing time has become an ordeal.
I might need a new everything
before my life falls apart
I just cashed in all my change
for a PBR
I need a pay day, mayday
it's those bills I fear
it's too late to reassess how I wound up in this mess
so i guess i'll just have another beer
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4. |
Right at Home
02:10
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she's right at home
every night when I'm fast asleep
my baby curls up right next to me
and when i wake up in the morning i
take a deep long dip into the cool blue eyes
when i think life's past me by
those thought go flying by
i gotta reason and i'll tell you why
the reason, well
she's right at home
do do le do, do do le do, do
do do le do
right at home
sangria from a fancy wine bar
or drinking pbr out of mason jars
there's that one time we both tried speed
hell she's so cool she'll even smoke a little weed
she's the one thing that gets me high
and there ain't a thing I've never tried
but i'm done with that shit and i'll tell you why
the reason well
she's right at home
do do le do, do do le do, do
do do le do
right at home
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5. |
Ghost in my Boot
02:06
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There's a ghost in my boot
i said a ghost in my boot
there's a ghost in my boot
and I know that I can't lose
with a Ghost in my Boot
Well, I went down to the school
and I followed that golden rule
I told people what to do
and I know I paid my dues
with a Ghost in my Boot
There's a ghost in my boot
i said a ghost in my boot
there's a ghost in my boot
and I know that I can't lose
with a Ghost in my Boot
I was walking down the street
just to see who I could meet
when I met this little mute
she was looking pretty cute
she had a Ghost in her Boot
There's a ghost in my boot
i said a ghost in my boot
there's a ghost in my boot
and I know that I can't lose
with a Ghost in my Boot
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6. |
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Now Lucy gave me lots to do
and Layla made one helluva stew
Linda was prone to terrible fits
and Lonna had the biggest eyes
Lindsey could cook, and Laura could sing
Heck Lucille was skinny as a twig
But there's a new girl in town
and her name is Ludwig
I'm in love with a girl named Ludwig
and she takes up all my time
i can't keep my hands off her
and the sound she make's sublime
There's no one I'd rather hold
after a long hard day of work
I said her name is Ludwig
Did I just see you smirk?
I'm in love with a girl named Ludwig
and she's pretty as can be
her neck's so smooth and sexy
the appeal is plain to see
She's all I want to finger now
because it gives me joy
I said her name is Ludwig
and no, she's not a boy.
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7. |
Sit on the Couch
02:33
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i'd rather just sit on the couch with you
then go out to the movies or the zoo
i know it might sound funny
but it certainly saves me money
and i'd rather just sit on the couch with you
i've never been one for billiards or cards
i'm much to high to play a game of darts
at casinos or the race track, i always lost me paycheck
and I'd rather just sit on the couch with you
yeah, sittin' around a pizza for 2
polishing off a 12 pack me and you
we could go down to the store but free is all I can afford
and I'd rather just sit on the couch with you
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8. |
Take the Rest
03:40
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when i was a kid I went to the music store
to become a star
but I fucked up and bought a ukulele
instead of a guitar
Now all the decent pickers cringe and laugh
at my voice … or vest
They kicked me out of the circle
You know what?
I'll take the rest
I'll take the rest
And you can have your nest
And I'll take the rest
Now I went down to the local pub
and I was trying to score
but it was getting pretty late
and all the girls looked like…. taken
I thought of all the nice girls from my past
well there's definitely none here now
so you know what?
I'll take the rest
I'll take the rest
With no regrets
And I'll take the rest
Now I know life ain't a roulette wheel
but I think it needs to be said
that If you take all the black
then I'll take all the red
and I'm not about to be your fool
but there's a lot of things in my head
just remember to follow that golden rule
as we lay awake in bed
Because I'm not picky and I don't care
what it is you do
Sometimes the best things in life are free
but they're also easy to lose
Remember a better time?
We've all been pissed.
Yeah, you can have your little schemes
You know what?
I'll take the rest
I'll take the rest
And you can place your bets
And I'll take the rest
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9. |
I'm So F***** Drunk
02:42
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i'm so fuckin' drunk
i didn't even drink that much
driving my truck all crooked and shit
i'm just getting' drunk
i drove down to my friend's place
to get myself a drink
and in addition I bought some weed
and had some time to think
uh oh
i'm so fuckin drunk
i didn't even drink that much
the last time really wasn't worth it
but i'm still getting drunk
i told myself 5 years ago
I 'd never drive drunk again
but against my better efforts
I am just like my friends
uh oh
i'm so fuckin' drunk
i didn't even drink that much
making wishes I can't keep
while I'm just getting drunk
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10. |
Road Soda
02:10
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Now I like traveling friends, of that fact there is no doubt
certain things help pass the miles; that's what this songs about
ac and heat are pretty sweet and a radio fills the quota
but there's just one thing I can't drive without and it's ice cold
road soda
road soda
it's such a special treat
to keep away from prying eyes
throw a cooler in the back seat
road soda
road soda
i'll always keep in touch
i'll love you till the bitter end
though the cops don't like it much
Friends, I wouldn't read in to it, or give it too much mind
Grab a 6er and throw $5 on 3, i'm a tank's half full kind of guy
now it's obscene, but I have seen, grown men cry at it's aroma
I didn't say it was okay so I always pray before I crack it open
road soda
road soda
they're always kinda nifty
the speed limit sign said 75
but we're just doing 50
road soda
road soda
it helps me see round corners
i'm just hopin' my life
don't turn into an episode of Law and Order
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Johnny Foodstamp Nashville, Tennessee
Johnny Foodstamp plays Olde Tyme Music from the FUTURE on the ukulele.
